3716 results for fuck
| Tweet | Date | Source |
|---|---|---|
| i'm the fattest of fucks... went to mcdonalds, bk and wendys in one day. then complimented my boss for being fit. fml | Saturday, November 19, 2011 2:27:46 AM | txt |
| "dude. fuck you! but really though!" | Friday, November 18, 2011 9:17:12 PM | txt |
| @MalJNew I said Red Bull/Vodka. Not rubbing alcohol and Diet Sprite. For fuck's sake! | Friday, November 18, 2011 6:12:20 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| wow fail. fuck not having a smartphone | Friday, November 18, 2011 4:10:47 PM | txt |
| they'll find me dead one day. it'll teach them a fuckin lesson and i won't be around to give a shit about it. | Thursday, November 17, 2011 11:33:08 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| fuck. me. | Thursday, November 17, 2011 10:59:26 PM | txt |
| i spend... way. too much money on. fucking alcohol... | Thursday, November 17, 2011 8:04:45 PM | txt |
| I want my fucking Galaxy Nexus and Verizon's being a dick and a half about its release date. | Thursday, November 17, 2011 9:24:03 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| they have like 5 fucking cars locked up and the train is jammed as fuck | Wednesday, November 16, 2011 11:45:14 PM | txt |
| Mother fucking Verizon delaying this Galazy Nexus | Tuesday, November 15, 2011 3:01:17 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Herman Cain is a real crazy fuck, but his 404 page is baller: http://t.co/lZVYyXU | Tuesday, November 15, 2011 2:41:59 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| To the gentleman with the 70s muscle car: Shut the fuck up with the engine revving and GTFO | Monday, November 14, 2011 3:03:09 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| "he came to long guyland and met my family. 2 days later he was with someone else. and i was like go fuck yaself" | Sunday, November 13, 2011 12:14:40 AM | txt |
| #2006 why the fuck am i so god damn old | Saturday, November 12, 2011 11:50:10 PM | txt |
| i feel young again... #oldfuckvisitingschools | Saturday, November 12, 2011 11:47:27 PM | txt |
| lolz. cops showed up to order food and the place cleared the fuck out | Saturday, November 12, 2011 10:00:44 PM | txt |
| fuck me in the ass... that was the worst tequila shot ever... completely sober and almost puked | Saturday, November 12, 2011 9:12:41 PM | txt |
| @__JLu Yup. They gave me 30 days. I couldn't find a smartphone in that time, so I lost out. Fuckin Galaxy Nexus should have been out... | Friday, November 11, 2011 1:33:40 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Fuck you Verizon, for un-grandfathering me from my unlimited data plan. | Friday, November 11, 2011 10:52:32 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| fuck man... why doesn't "sudo aptitude install lighttpd" work on Ubuntu 10.04 LTS? | Wednesday, November 09, 2011 10:47:35 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| fuck man.... | Wednesday, November 09, 2011 7:46:51 PM | txt |
| jesus fuckin christ these elevators are slow. move. i need to get to rthe bar | Wednesday, November 09, 2011 6:27:14 PM | txt |
| I'm a fucking dick... I rip on people a lot. If you don't like it, fuck off. I do it with good intent. | Wednesday, November 09, 2011 5:30:28 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I can't deal with the fucking dumbasses over at @FairfieldMirror or @mirrorfairfield or whatever the fuck twitter they use now. Site is done | Wednesday, November 09, 2011 12:20:59 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| get the fuck out of here. margaret schroder banged owen slater? #boardwalkempire | Tuesday, November 08, 2011 11:44:22 PM | txt |
| When is this fucking Galaxy Nexus coming out. I am losing my mind without a smartphone. | Tuesday, November 08, 2011 10:06:07 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| why is this fucking train not pulling out.... i need to go home and shit | Tuesday, November 08, 2011 7:33:24 PM | txt |
| New blog post: If they Fucking Bomb Search Me One More Time... http://bit.ly/vtkGOF | Tuesday, November 08, 2011 10:15:55 AM | Portfolioso.com Blog |
| Fuck man... Feel like shit | Sunday, November 06, 2011 11:47:09 PM | txt |
| Just ate like a pig. legit might bust. I am the fattest fuck going... | Saturday, November 05, 2011 3:09:41 PM | txt |
| And they came crying to me because they fucked it up. #typical #Ifixeverything | Thursday, November 03, 2011 7:06:15 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Remember how I said that I had to get used to the new Gmail user interface? Scratch that. It fucking sucks... | Wednesday, November 02, 2011 9:39:24 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Cocksuckers over at Verizon keep delaying the Galaxy Nexus. I have to wait until Black Friday now? Or maybe December. Fuck the Razr. | Wednesday, November 02, 2011 4:39:48 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Just saw on the news that lonliness is linked to depression. Ya think, you fuckin assholes? No shit. Who does these idiotic studies? | Tuesday, November 01, 2011 11:29:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| It's all fucked up... | Tuesday, November 01, 2011 7:02:22 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| already expired... my twat. jumping the shit out of this turnstyle. i pay thes fuckers enough. | Tuesday, November 01, 2011 12:42:32 AM | txt |
| This incompetent mother fucker needs to lose her job. | Monday, October 31, 2011 2:32:06 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Sounds like i live in a fuckin factory with all these generators. I'll never sleep. | Sunday, October 30, 2011 10:44:10 PM | txt |
| Losing internets until work tomorrow. Anyone want to donate a generator to the "I need my fucking internet back" fund? | Sunday, October 30, 2011 5:46:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| fuck this crowded shithole train | Thursday, October 27, 2011 8:01:37 PM | txt |
| DLK is a badass: "Those guys need to a we're not fucking dumbasses asterisk next to our account" | Thursday, October 27, 2011 9:56:36 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| How the fuck did my pants get wet? I didn't just piss myself, did I? | Wednesday, October 26, 2011 3:00:12 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| They need to finish this fuckin Popham Road bridge. Fuckin drilling, banging and machines all night, and I'm a half a mile away! | Wednesday, October 26, 2011 1:47:33 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| I swear to God, if this cunt coughs in my face one more fucking time... | Tuesday, October 25, 2011 5:00:04 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I want to punch Michelle in the face right now, on the grounds that her web design is fucking flawed, confusing and I'm right | Tuesday, October 25, 2011 10:10:22 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| @Waspito Fuck that shit. Have a beer or 6 | Tuesday, October 25, 2011 12:33:25 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Also for fucks sake, don't stop to read a motherless map at the base of a staircase, oblivious bastards... People need to get by. | Monday, October 24, 2011 7:28:11 PM | txt |
| everyone is walking like they have cocks rammed up their asses in grand central. get the fuck out of my way | Monday, October 24, 2011 7:25:25 PM | txt |
| this pearl jam documentary... fuck man. why wasnt i this age in seattle in 91? | Friday, October 21, 2011 9:43:13 PM | txt |
| Fuck. just got caught looking | Friday, October 21, 2011 7:31:00 PM | txt |
| @scoopANDslam This is what happens when you work in accounting. Every aspect of accounting fucking sucks. Tech startups for the win. | Friday, October 21, 2011 10:34:42 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| its way too fuckin hot outside | Thursday, October 20, 2011 9:47:36 PM | txt |
| My fucking SSH server won't connect. I think Verizon is blocking ports. Sheeeeit | Thursday, October 20, 2011 12:43:22 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Winning attitude: stop giving a fuck about everything and then only good things will happen to you. | Wednesday, October 19, 2011 5:10:59 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I'd just like to point out that configuring Ubuntu's iptables to allow passive FTP traffic through fucking blows | Tuesday, October 18, 2011 2:07:43 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Is it necessary for the train going by to lay on the horn for like 1 minute straight at this hour? Fucking MTA | Tuesday, October 18, 2011 1:43:40 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| the sun decided to align itself with the fuckin crack in the shade right where my eyes are | Monday, October 17, 2011 5:26:43 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Joe Buck you fuckin piece of shit. Cover the damn Rangers. Stop mentioning how the Yankees lost to them last year. Irrelevant. Fuckin guy. | Saturday, October 15, 2011 11:50:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @SonicBlur23 so fuckin drink, pussy. In reply to @SonicBlur23's tweet | Thursday, October 13, 2011 6:59:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| And this is another fucking piece of shit phone that has to go, you frozen fuck. | Thursday, October 13, 2011 1:26:28 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| They don't pay me enough for this fucking shit. I expect to get free Hilton rooms whenever the fuck I want for my efforts. | Thursday, October 13, 2011 1:25:36 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Dear Verizon. Stop capping fuckin YouTube traffic assholes. I have 25MBPS symmetrical internet and my YouTube videos load like f'in dialup | Wednesday, October 12, 2011 9:26:01 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Its too hot on this fucking train because I'm on it, duh. Crank the AC fools! | Wednesday, October 12, 2011 7:47:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuckin A, Alexey. Can you fix the damn customer flow and mobile flow on stable. JEEZ | Wednesday, October 12, 2011 5:46:49 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Nothing like a nice meeting with a VP after getting back from the bar. Fuck. Gotta piss | Wednesday, October 12, 2011 5:03:18 PM | Twitter for Android |
| HAHA Blackberry fucking sucks. Get an iPhone or Android RT @__JLu talk about a #RIM job... | Wednesday, October 12, 2011 2:33:00 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| New blog post: It's Obama's Fucking Fault Banks are Charging Ridiculous Fees http://t.co/Kzy5cH6 | Tuesday, October 11, 2011 10:42:20 PM | Portfolioso.com Blog |
| It's fucking bullshit that I need to be running my air conditioner on OCTOBER 10th. It should be cold outside. | Tuesday, October 11, 2011 12:13:35 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| You've gotta be fucking kidding me. I need a new phone stat, and the Galaxy Nexus was delayed because Jobs kicked it? fuuuuuuck that side. | Friday, October 07, 2011 1:24:22 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| A-Rod you choking muddafucka you | Thursday, October 06, 2011 10:59:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I could file more bugs. Eh fuck it, lets just go to the bar | Thursday, October 06, 2011 6:07:01 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Mother fucking Firefox Sync. Thanks for overwriting my bookmarks with old shit you bastards. | Thursday, October 06, 2011 9:45:09 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| @Waspito accounting fucking blows. I feel bad for you bro | Wednesday, October 05, 2011 6:20:35 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| fucking parentheses... So dumb | Wednesday, October 05, 2011 1:58:30 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| why the FUCK won't my script work? | Wednesday, October 05, 2011 1:47:45 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Great, I look like mother fuckin Rudolph right now. | Tuesday, October 04, 2011 6:17:41 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Dear every single tech blog on my news reader, Shut the fuck up about the iPhone 5. I don't give a shit and will be getting a Nexus Prime | Tuesday, October 04, 2011 12:39:28 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| This is me every fucking day: http://t.co/CMcPVFv | Monday, October 03, 2011 12:26:54 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| New blog post: Women Were So Fucking Ugly During Prohibition http://t.co/rImSuiC | Sunday, October 02, 2011 9:06:57 PM | Portfolioso.com Blog |
| Oh god that's putrid. I gassed this fuckin train out. | Sunday, October 02, 2011 1:52:22 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Please explain to me how the new site worked 100% in my environment and then when I rolled it out, it's completely fucked in the head... | Saturday, October 01, 2011 1:48:08 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Hurry up you slow fucking elevator, I have to get to the bar | Thursday, September 29, 2011 6:27:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Michael Kay is seriously wondering how much Proctor can pitch? Fuckin like 12 innings straight, duh. Torre broke his arm in. | Wednesday, September 28, 2011 11:36:57 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| New blog post: Learn Math You Fuckin Apple Joker http://t.co/cjySOMu | Wednesday, September 28, 2011 11:24:13 PM | Portfolioso.com Blog |
| Joe Girardi is fucking dumbtarded if he uses Dave Robertson in this game. Who cares if we lose | Wednesday, September 28, 2011 11:02:17 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Fuck the Mets & Jose Reyes. Lousy, slacker lowlife cheating organization. I hope Braun goes 5-5. Embarrassment to New York. Get the fuck out | Wednesday, September 28, 2011 4:22:58 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Jesus fucking christ. fix the brakes on this piece of shit 6 train. I think I'm deaf now. | Monday, September 26, 2011 7:17:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Normally, id be fucking pissed at the fact you squeezed into my 3 seater but if you look like that.. by all means, go for it. | Wednesday, September 21, 2011 7:55:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Brandon is a fuckin' G with CSS. Thanks for fixing that glitch bro. | Wednesday, September 21, 2011 6:11:45 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I am going to blame my miserable failure at Moon Cake (98/99 stars) on the fact the level 1-17 gets fucking 3 frames per second. | Wednesday, September 21, 2011 2:11:08 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| It's 1AM. I want a fuckin cheese steak. | Tuesday, September 20, 2011 12:59:09 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| I'm such a fucking jackass. Wondered why I couldn't log into my SQL server... Thought it was a bad password. SQL service wasn't running... | Saturday, September 17, 2011 9:30:51 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Those mother fuckers. I bet they copied Apple where you don't quit but programs just stay running and become suspended. Fucking Apple. | Friday, September 16, 2011 10:40:53 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Well that was interesting... How the fuck are you supposed to quit apps? Windows 8 is so radically different, I had no idea how to use it. | Friday, September 16, 2011 10:40:16 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Peach I just took a bite out of was a fuckin ball of fuzz. Nasty | Tuesday, September 13, 2011 3:06:08 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| The fuck is it with bitch ass UK clients trying to use mother fucking leading zeroes in Excel? It removes it, shitheads! And you blame us... | Monday, September 12, 2011 10:23:48 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| @nyJULZmd The fuck is a hand grenade? | Monday, September 12, 2011 2:24:38 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Fuck... Me... now I just want to do jagerbombs | Monday, September 12, 2011 2:20:53 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Why is everything a fucking shitshow today? Why am I the only person qualified to fix EVERYTHING? | Monday, September 12, 2011 11:00:15 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| you fucking sneak mother fucker | Sunday, September 11, 2011 3:41:12 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Jesus Chriat, the Yankees fucking suck. | Saturday, September 10, 2011 11:31:15 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Those beers in the work fridge look reallllll fuckin good right now | Friday, September 09, 2011 11:00:45 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Can this fucking topheavy shitbox train rock from side to side any more violently? I'm seasick over here. | Friday, September 09, 2011 9:12:11 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Why won't mother fuckin apache start on this bitch ass server? | Monday, September 05, 2011 9:55:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Dear laptop fan: Shut the fuck up. You're not overheating and CPU use is 0%. So why are you running so loudly? kthxbye | Monday, September 05, 2011 6:34:35 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I feel so fuckin fat right now its not even funny. Today I ate more than four Ethiopians combined in a week. Need my stomach pumped. | Sunday, September 04, 2011 8:20:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck... Me... | Sunday, September 04, 2011 1:31:05 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Jeweler goes to change my watch battery (I'd do it myself but it was impossible to open) and scratched the fucking shit out of it. Asshole | Saturday, September 03, 2011 4:20:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Day off and I don't know what the hell there is to do. #mylifeissofuckinglameitsmoreexcitingwheniwork | Friday, September 02, 2011 3:32:28 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Reading some of my shit from school... I used to be a fucking mess | Friday, September 02, 2011 4:26:50 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| This IT guy is driving me up a fucking wall with this new VoIP system we're installing. | Thursday, September 01, 2011 9:58:15 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Doing some accounting. Shit fucking sucks. Thought I'd never have to do that since I bombed it freshman year.. apparently not. | Wednesday, August 31, 2011 11:47:09 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| C-Notes by the layers... True Fuckin Players | Wednesday, August 31, 2011 12:22:14 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| mother. fuck. Verizon... Rumors are they're ruining the Nexus Prime and rebranding it as the Droid Prime? Figures. It's going to shit now. | Tuesday, August 30, 2011 11:10:51 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Kindly like... go the fuck away. | Tuesday, August 30, 2011 10:12:49 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| I fucking hate Biebs because he's a tool dickwad, but I wish I was able to take my snake named Johnson and abuse Selena with it. | Monday, August 29, 2011 11:39:28 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Fuck. Now its crazy windy after the storm passed... if my internet goes out, I swear | Sunday, August 28, 2011 3:59:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The fuck is that all about? | Saturday, August 27, 2011 10:32:26 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| @colithika: "I just realized... you two are fat fuckin italians in wife beaters" (aka me and @sonicblur23) | Saturday, August 27, 2011 1:29:38 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The fact that I said "jelly" instead of "jealous" out loud at the bar earlier was a fucking joke. Like... you're only supposed to type that | Wednesday, August 24, 2011 5:39:58 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Problem: I don't give a fuck about anything today. I'm impatient and everyone pissing me off. Go away :-) | Tuesday, August 23, 2011 12:24:39 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I mean.. Jesus fucking christ Alisa. Get away from my desk. I don't care. | Tuesday, August 23, 2011 9:45:35 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| fuck all you hos =) | Tuesday, August 23, 2011 2:45:42 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Fucking fire him too | Saturday, August 20, 2011 10:42:23 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Welp... Yankees came back to lose 9-4. That means without fuckhead Burnett, they'd have won 4-3 #geththefuckoffmyteamyoudisrespectfulcunt | Saturday, August 20, 2011 10:28:45 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| AJ... go hang yourself in the clubhouse you useless fuck | Saturday, August 20, 2011 8:08:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This guy Burnett can go fuck himself and get the fuck off my team because he's mother fucking useless and over fucking paid | Saturday, August 20, 2011 7:55:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "I got a white kid workin for me. He's a fuckin pussy though. He can't dig like a Mexican can" | Friday, August 19, 2011 5:56:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| #firstworldproblems where the fuck did I put my bottle opener? | Friday, August 19, 2011 5:14:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| New blog post: Is HP Fucking Serious Right now? http://bit.ly/pnf9dT | Friday, August 19, 2011 2:55:04 AM | Portfolioso.com Blog |
| The nurse in this house is mother fucking useless. | Friday, August 19, 2011 2:26:49 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| This ankle is fucked. So hard. Ow http://t.co/oyGscS0 | Friday, August 19, 2011 12:25:21 AM | Twitter for Android |
| God damn it. @maljnew needs to not fucking bite. me | Thursday, August 18, 2011 10:33:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Jesus I just fucked up my ankle | Thursday, August 18, 2011 7:56:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Drunk train is fuckin hysterical now. Vifeo ftw | Friday, August 12, 2011 1:58:21 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Shut the fuck up about the jersey shore on twitter. I have it DVRd... ill be home later | Thursday, August 11, 2011 10:42:27 PM | Twitter for Android |
| IT fuckers: Install my new phone system already. I did my part (aka like 85% of your job). Now get on the rest of it. | Monday, August 08, 2011 1:36:32 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Wanna fuckin like... stop throwing wild pitches or something? Christ... | Sunday, August 07, 2011 11:42:27 PM | Twitter for Android |
| New blog post: Fuck War http://bit.ly/rrN7xv | Sunday, August 07, 2011 10:38:36 PM | Portfolioso.com Blog |
| Dear Omar bro in the supermarket.... I don't give a fuck about your cats. | Sunday, August 07, 2011 11:54:00 AM | Twitter for Android |
| New blog post: That's It. I Had Enough Of This Fucking Country http://bit.ly/nfgY24 | Saturday, August 06, 2011 8:32:14 PM | Portfolioso.com Blog |
| New blog post: Attention People Who Misuse the Apostrophe S: Fucking Learn English http://bit.ly/nFYIjv | Saturday, August 06, 2011 1:35:27 PM | Portfolioso.com Blog |
| Dear Mexicans. Shut the fuck up with the lawn mowers and leaf blowers. I was up until 4:30AM and am trying to get some sleep. | Tuesday, August 02, 2011 8:47:04 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| New blog post: Dave Grohl is a Fuckin' G! http://bit.ly/n9b9jz | Monday, August 01, 2011 9:50:14 PM | Portfolioso.com Blog |
| My lungs. They are so fucked. Thanks Nat Sherman | Sunday, July 31, 2011 2:36:28 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Whoever stole the fan off my desk can really go fuck themselves right now because I'm pissed | Tuesday, July 26, 2011 9:41:45 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| New blog post: Stop Defending This Fucking Heatwave http://bit.ly/qQzV0Y | Friday, July 22, 2011 8:39:08 PM | Portfolioso.com Blog |
| Today's crazy fuckin NYC subway segment: two huge black lesbians going the fuck at it on the 6 train platform in Grand Central. | Friday, July 22, 2011 7:43:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @MalJNew Fuck this heat sideways | Friday, July 22, 2011 12:16:46 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| New blog post: MG Siegler Is Fucktarded+ (And Random Apple Rants) http://bit.ly/qKQAOZ | Friday, July 22, 2011 2:42:53 AM | Portfolioso.com Blog |
| @ky9 I always say "youve gotta be fuckin kidding me" way too loudly in public places. Things piss me off | Thursday, July 21, 2011 9:09:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| in other news... fuck this horse shit weather with a meat grinder | Thursday, July 21, 2011 5:06:39 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| What is this fuckin Granderson doing, dropping routine fly balls (in the stupifd assed marshmallow ceiling) and throwing the ball away. | Tuesday, July 19, 2011 9:40:17 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'd fuck orange. | Tuesday, July 19, 2011 1:12:11 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I want to use the cruciatus curse on these fuckers on this onference call. | Friday, July 15, 2011 12:12:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| About time this tuburculine mother fucker got off this train. Guy was hacking his lung out. If I get sick, i swear...... | Thursday, July 14, 2011 10:27:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Someone shut this mother fuckin baby up. Screaming in cold blood this asshole is | Thursday, July 14, 2011 10:22:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I can't write a mother fuckin sentence without some bitch ass interrupting me. Someone get me a private office so I can slam doors on people | Wednesday, July 13, 2011 6:52:20 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Facebook's Android App is horse shit. Fuckin slow, lacks features. Cant do dick on it. Their iPhone one is SO much better. | Tuesday, July 12, 2011 8:59:26 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| This is a chatty assed train car. Normally its quiet.Everyone shut the fuck up. | Monday, July 11, 2011 8:54:36 AM | Twitter for Android |
| WOW DVDs piss me the fuck off. I dont have time to wait like 2 minutes for a God Damn menu animation... Let me just play the fucking movie. | Sunday, July 10, 2011 9:59:15 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Pretty sure this is an employees only bathroom but I don't give two fucks | Sunday, July 10, 2011 2:11:57 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @MalJNew I'm the worst at sexing back? If you don't suck it ill titty fuck you so hard. | Saturday, July 09, 2011 1:20:00 AM | Twitter for Android |
| So many hotties on this train. Know what that means? A fuckin mexican is gonna sit next to me. | Saturday, July 09, 2011 1:18:17 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Lmfao.... black woman with a kid wearing a "trust me, I'm a virgin" shirt. ok Mary.. ya fuckin tard | Saturday, July 09, 2011 12:33:22 AM | Twitter for Android |
| God damnit the 45th st wendys wasn't this fuckin slow. I miss that shithole | Friday, July 08, 2011 11:58:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Are you really reading at the bar right now? That's just fuckin weird. | Friday, July 08, 2011 11:01:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Id fuck the girl who just played man in a box on the jukebox at the bar if she was hot and wasn't like 45... | Friday, July 08, 2011 10:47:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| NYC Subways are running like fucking asshole right now. | Thursday, July 07, 2011 5:25:29 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| When are we getting our new phone system again? My 80s phone doesn't even have a fucking mute button. (Not that I talk to people, but still) | Thursday, July 07, 2011 10:28:37 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Woof. Alexey essentially told me to go fuck myself. =) All I wanted was a new build to test. | Thursday, July 07, 2011 9:53:33 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Google needs to let more motherfuckers join google+. It's getting boring on there | Sunday, July 03, 2011 11:22:44 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Alcohol free bbq... The fuck is this shit, rehab? I need a beer. Or 5. | Sunday, July 03, 2011 3:16:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Crick grills like a fuckin moron. | Sunday, July 03, 2011 2:56:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @Waspito The D1/D2 hardware is too shitty to run Gingerbread. I still have a D1 and its slow as fuck with 2.2. It was fast at first with 2.0 | Sunday, July 03, 2011 11:48:17 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| On line and I have the slowest fucking guy in front of me. Cocksucker. I have things to do. | Saturday, July 02, 2011 3:24:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| New blog post: Fuck Cats http://bit.ly/kzdDUm | Friday, July 01, 2011 1:32:08 AM | Portfolioso.com Blog |
| Fuck these fuzzy assed apples that taste bland and it's like I'm eating cotton. The FUCK man. | Thursday, June 30, 2011 12:31:03 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I want a mother fucking Google Plus invite. I haven't been this jealous since. Never. | Thursday, June 30, 2011 11:57:01 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Fuckin Google.... Halted the Plus invites before my super elite, private m_m peeps could get one to me. | Thursday, June 30, 2011 1:36:05 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| New blog post: My Fantasy Team is Doing Fucking Work this Week http://bit.ly/lunUeZ | Thursday, June 30, 2011 12:53:12 AM | Portfolioso.com Blog |
| FUCK. ME. Looks like I just blocked all network traffic on this machine. Including myself. Looks like this German hotel system is now FUCKED | Thursday, June 30, 2011 12:01:36 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| IPSec policies are hard to set up to begin with. Imagine doing it in fucking German. Jesus Christ. They don't pay me enough | Wednesday, June 29, 2011 11:38:01 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| If this entire fucking computer wasn't all in God Damn German, my life would be so much easier | Wednesday, June 29, 2011 11:32:42 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| @Novellabella get a fuckin smartphone joker In reply to @Novellabella's tweet | Tuesday, June 28, 2011 8:06:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Shut the fuck up. You talk too much | Tuesday, June 28, 2011 4:38:38 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| All I deal with all day is fuckin PMSing women and hotel PMS systems. FML | Tuesday, June 28, 2011 9:13:21 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Fuckin sangria. I'm gonna get hammered of this fuckin' peach and pineapple. Real manly... I need a beer to wash this down. | Friday, June 24, 2011 6:33:42 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Ah fuck. I didn't just play marry fuck kill with my coworkers... Featuring other people from work... I'm so fired. | Friday, June 24, 2011 2:50:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck offff I called thay tweet first | Wednesday, June 22, 2011 12:22:05 AM | Twitter for Android |
| This better be fucking good. If not, what a waste: http://t.co/FIvnlwL | Tuesday, June 21, 2011 12:06:24 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| @dannyrob88 fuckin pop him you bitch ass. In reply to @dannyrob88's tweet | Saturday, June 18, 2011 12:00:53 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @dannyrob88 you're a fuckin joke In reply to @dannyrob88's tweet | Friday, June 17, 2011 11:33:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Keep this up and I'm fucking going home. Can't deal with all this nonsense here. You need to be the most patient mother fucker to do my job | Tuesday, June 14, 2011 9:57:24 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| I'm so fucked... | Sunday, June 12, 2011 12:59:04 AM | DELETED |
| Walked a few blocks in NYC. Would be nice if this asshole couple would stop fucking each other every corner while waiting for the light. | Friday, June 10, 2011 2:54:02 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| New blog post: Can Someone Explain To Me Why The Fuck The US Is Still In Iraq? http://bit.ly/jmI0VJ | Monday, June 06, 2011 12:40:37 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Mothafucka's got style. | Monday, June 06, 2011 1:54:59 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Dude.... In all honesty. Who the fuck gets kicked out of Continental.... | Saturday, June 04, 2011 2:56:03 AM | Twitter for Android |
| New blog post: Fucking Idiot Sells Kidney For iPad 2 http://bit.ly/m0dJCx | Thursday, June 02, 2011 9:28:20 PM | Portfolioso.com Blog |
| Okay. FUCK Google and Gilt for emailing me about a Chromebook and then fucking spamming my email with Gilt deals | Thursday, June 02, 2011 11:43:23 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| This fucking dick came in on the wrong track | Wednesday, May 25, 2011 11:56:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Hot sales girl just asked me if the conference room is off limits or not, like I'm some kind if boss. Why? Wanna fuck in there or something? | Monday, May 23, 2011 3:31:12 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @ShavingFoams yanks/giants? No biggie. Even if it was, worlds fuckin over so its not like they'll play anyways. In reply to @ShavingFoams's tweet | Saturday, May 21, 2011 2:23:47 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Mets just beat the Yankees. Normally, I'd say that means this rapture's legit. But in reality, the Yankees just fucking suck this season. | Friday, May 20, 2011 10:02:51 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Oops... I think I just gave orders to the chief operating officer. Fuck it. He should listen to me. | Thursday, May 19, 2011 12:58:43 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Way to leave the bases loaded assholes. Lose the fucking game now. You 65 years olds all deserve it | Wednesday, May 18, 2011 11:07:20 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Fucking unfair ... | Sunday, May 15, 2011 4:38:37 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Jesus Christ, the yankees fuckin suck | Friday, May 13, 2011 8:14:39 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Once I break this seal, I'm fucked... | Friday, May 13, 2011 8:06:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| why the fuck are we watching hanna montana right now? | Friday, May 13, 2011 1:00:02 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Just looked back at my Foursquare from a year ago: "Trivia night. I have 2 finals tomorrow but fuck it" LOL | Thursday, May 12, 2011 11:49:56 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| This fuckin team might as well have lost in the 9th instead of wasting my time with a cocktease failed comeback | Wednesday, May 11, 2011 11:41:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This random, no name minor league stiff Buddy Carlyle can go fuck himself, because he's pathetic. Way to blow the game asshole. | Wednesday, May 11, 2011 11:02:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I just... I can't.... I can't win. It's getting fucking hilarious | Monday, May 09, 2011 10:07:48 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| These pussy ass programmers get all offended at my bug reports when I say something sucks... fuck that. If I say it sucks, it sucks | Monday, May 09, 2011 1:31:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Why are all theae stupid sickly motherfuckees around me on this train sneezing, sniffling and coughing. Gross. | Monday, May 09, 2011 8:58:20 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Why the fuck am I sober? | Saturday, May 07, 2011 11:58:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Because of my discernment, I guarantee you she fucked someone last night and isn't telling me. :-\ (gross) | Saturday, May 07, 2011 11:02:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck these microscopic beer bottles. Fuck am I supposed to get drunk off of that wussy shit? | Saturday, May 07, 2011 9:28:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| New blog post: Glee in 3D This Summer? Fuck That Noise http://bit.ly/lFUrSq | Thursday, May 05, 2011 12:28:43 AM | Portfolioso.com Blog |
| Some ass posted a fb virus link on my wall. I'm not at a comp. Why can't I delete it from the android app or mobile site? fucking zuckerberg | Sunday, May 01, 2011 10:41:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| BMI is 26.2 Should be between 18.5-25. I'm fucking fat. Plus, I'm out of shape. Old fucks were passing me nonstop when I was biking #nogood | Sunday, May 01, 2011 1:42:03 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| I'm jealous of Android 2.3 video Google Talk. GRR. Fucking Verizon, where are the 4G Android 2.3 phones? Still putting out 2.1 shit | Friday, April 29, 2011 12:31:51 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| New blog post: Shut the Fuck Up About the Royal Wedding Already http://bit.ly/jLJpIL | Thursday, April 28, 2011 8:40:18 PM | Portfolioso.com Blog |
| @dannyrob88 Fuck are you doing in the women's bathroom, joker? In reply to @dannyrob88's tweet | Thursday, April 28, 2011 8:26:24 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Got a new computer at work. Coworker is jealous. Jinxes it. Power supply fails. The stupid mother fucker. All his fault | Wednesday, April 27, 2011 9:42:25 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Pretty sure between Austin Jackson and Nick Swisher, my fantasy team outfield is like 0-70 Fucking useless. | Wednesday, April 27, 2011 12:37:36 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| God damnit. Why do these fucking northbound trains keep coming in on the southbound track? You know how inconvenient that is for me? | Tuesday, April 26, 2011 11:54:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This fuckin place really has heat lamps on right now? | Tuesday, April 26, 2011 7:35:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Get the fuck away from my desk you old pain in the balls. I just got in and got attacked. | Tuesday, April 26, 2011 9:49:44 AM | Twitter for Android |
| My life is a fucking JOKEEEEEEEEE | Saturday, April 23, 2011 12:05:18 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Swear to God... To date, I would have had $200 more for alcohol and debauchery if the fucking MTA didn't raise fares in January. | Friday, April 22, 2011 9:41:27 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Mother fucking android text message bug was supposed to be fixed in frg83g but clearly was not | Wednesday, April 20, 2011 7:23:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Is this guy fuckin for real? There's a dude wading in this fountain collecting coins... guess the market is down today. | Monday, April 18, 2011 5:01:39 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Nothing like a Monday morning meeting with two fucking suit asshole CEOs pissed off at our system because fucking sales oversold them... | Monday, April 18, 2011 10:37:12 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Looking back at my pictures senior year, I'm pretty sure all I did (especially in April and May) was get fucked up all the time | Monday, April 18, 2011 2:30:15 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| @dannyrob88 fuck off I know its been out for a while. I don't have time to blog about things instantly :-) In reply to @Billyjune88's tweet | Thursday, April 14, 2011 12:20:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Apple can suck my fuckin dick so badly with this error shit. Thanks. Now I have to spend hours redoing my ipod http://twitpic.com/4k8xvo | Wednesday, April 13, 2011 1:38:58 AM | Twitpic |
| This week all of my fantasy pitchers on my team are playing against one another. fuck my life... The chances of that... | Tuesday, April 12, 2011 2:53:58 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| SO TRUE. Pisses me off so badly!! RT @MrHazel Why the fuck do people send screen shots in a Word document? | Sunday, April 10, 2011 6:41:59 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Fuckin jersey, pumping gas for me... guy is changing shifts. I don't have time for this. I'd be out of here already | Saturday, April 09, 2011 3:01:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Lol just cheated lent. Went to wendys after 12 am. W.e tho. christ doesn't kno w the difference between fridays and saturdays #fucking joke | Saturday, April 09, 2011 1:12:21 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Mother fucker. My coworkers just beat me in mother fuckin beer pong | Friday, April 08, 2011 10:41:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuckin knew the sox would get their first win off the Yanks. I just sensed it. Plus hughes is choking on cocks this season. | Friday, April 08, 2011 5:10:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck it. Checking... out | Thursday, April 07, 2011 4:22:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Because basically, you know... Fuck it. | Thursday, April 07, 2011 2:16:12 AM | Twitter Web Client |
| Boone Logan. Useless and just fucked this game up. | Tuesday, April 05, 2011 10:05:35 PM | Twitter Web Client |
| Why are there no fucking trains leaving grand central? For fucks sake... | Monday, April 04, 2011 7:20:01 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This guy Bob is a fuckin G | Saturday, April 02, 2011 1:29:21 AM | Twitter for Android |
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