Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit



3716 results for fuck


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Page 11 of 15 | Showing 2501 to 2750
Tweet Date Source
Love doing SQL queries against my tweets. Out of 5733 I have archived, I said fuck 1243 times in 1076 tweets (including this one) Friday, June 08, 2012 9:52:10 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuck this hipster with hipster glasses and his entourage of hot girls Friday, June 08, 2012 8:12:47 AMTwitter for Android
Figured out the secret to tricking people out of thinking you're drunk. Onions. They mask alcohol like a motherfucker. But you smell anyway Friday, June 08, 2012 12:13:04 AMTwitter Web Client
I've got these fuckers hey the balls and they know it. And they'll do whatever the fuck I say. Because I'm right. And the shit Thursday, June 07, 2012 10:29:36 PMTwitter for Android
Where the mother fuck is the train? Also, they need another one bc this one is too fucking crowded. Thursday, June 07, 2012 8:07:14 AMTwitter for Android
Motherfuckers who swipe their metrocard, walk through the turnstyle and then stop/talk so no one else can pass... die. Wednesday, June 06, 2012 6:49:04 PMTwitter for Android
Birds: shut the fuck up Monday, June 04, 2012 3:06:23 AMTwitter for Android
Really the Mets got a no hitter? Fuck the Mets on my bday. They suck Friday, June 01, 2012 9:50:53 PMTwitter for Android
specifically, fuck strtotime() Wednesday, May 30, 2012 12:55:57 AMTwitter Web Client
Why is working with date/time in php a mother fucking pain in the ass? Wednesday, May 30, 2012 12:54:04 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuck Verizon for not updating my shit to 4.0.4. I'm rooting this bitch and doing it manually. It's been too long Tuesday, May 29, 2012 1:17:33 AMTwitter Web Client
@mirrorfairfield fucking sucks. Thanks for bastardizing the website Kaela. So legit you graduated. Is that joker Alex there? Fuck that guy. Monday, May 28, 2012 12:19:51 AMTwitter for Android
Guy. I'm fucking huge. Saturday, May 26, 2012 10:18:56 PMTwitter for Android
Lessard: "I can't wait until I go to the retirement home with you fuckers. We'll play beer pong in the bingo hall" Saturday, May 26, 2012 6:00:12 PMTwitter for Android
Ya know what... you motherfuckers can shut me out in beer pong but I'm getting laid tonight. So I win. Saturday, May 26, 2012 4:56:06 PMTwitter for Android
Seriously. Someone give this fuckin kid an ambien. And give the parents a bat to the head for being shitty at raising this kid. Friday, May 25, 2012 7:45:40 PMTwitter for Android
This fuckin kid in this train needs to shut the fuck up. Lousy parents. Friday, May 25, 2012 7:39:15 PMTwitter for Android
I'm. Mother fuckin mess Friday, May 25, 2012 2:16:07 AMTwitter for Android
Also, I learned tonight that no motherfucker is real. Everyone is full of shit. So why even bother Friday, May 25, 2012 1:19:05 AMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: Welcome to the United States, Mother Fuckers http://t.co/rfJ0yGA Friday, May 25, 2012 1:17:25 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
Also, why isn't @MalJNew answering her fuckin phone? stop banging motherfuckers and talk t to me Friday, May 25, 2012 12:57:58 AMTwitter Web Client
None of you mother fuckers cut me off. Cocksuckers. This is a lesson Friday, May 25, 2012 12:57:20 AMTwitter Web Client
Niraj paid for all that shit fuckers. So I crumbled up dollar bills , threw them in her fuckin face and walked out. Fuckin cunt Friday, May 25, 2012 12:56:45 AMTwitter Web Client
Fuckin whatever... bartender thought I was crazy. She should see me last and or next week. Pieces of shit Friday, May 25, 2012 12:55:58 AMTwitter Web Client
Yep... got thrown outta the bar tonight mother fuckers. Friday, May 25, 2012 12:52:26 AMTwitter Web Client
Also I'm gonna fuck Kristen on the swung at the bar next week at our bday party Thursday, May 24, 2012 9:33:53 PMTwitter for Android
jay shut the fuck up, I have code to roll. Stop chit chattin Thursday, May 24, 2012 5:42:05 PMTwitter Web Client
@MalJNew @TaraCasanova @kelgoe @LennonImagine This release is a bunch of fuckin bullshit
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Tuesday, May 22, 2012 12:39:24 PMTwitter Web Client
Drives me FUCKING crazy when I can hear people's earbuds from far away. Namely, my coworker in the next cube and people on the subway. STFU Monday, May 21, 2012 1:47:33 PMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: Fuck Verizon Wireless For Not Updating My Galaxy Nexus http://bit.ly/LsBCCB Monday, May 21, 2012 12:59:46 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
While looking at the 2012 high school yearbook: "wow. I remember when these fuckers were in diapers. Our lives are over." Sunday, May 20, 2012 12:09:04 AMTwitter for Android
Counting how many fuckable girls there are on this train. Probs a million, you guys. Saturday, May 19, 2012 1:40:03 AMTwitter for Android
Actually. Fuck these guys sayin I'm soft. I'll beat the fuck outta them Saturday, May 19, 2012 1:07:58 AMTwitter for Android
Gotta drop 20 bc I'm a fat fuck. Or stay the same and keep muscle. Fuck off. Saturday, May 19, 2012 1:05:38 AMTwitter for Android
Welp.. thought I had some guns but these motherfuckers said I'm soft. Gotta work out I guess. This is bullshit Saturday, May 19, 2012 1:04:56 AMTwitter for Android
Fuck yaself. So special. Saturday, May 19, 2012 12:47:19 AMTwitter for Android
Nips are so sore, motherfuckers Saturday, May 19, 2012 12:33:39 AMTwitter for Android
Elise...fucking ow.. http://instagr.am/p/Ky0XjppBeP/ Saturday, May 19, 2012 12:00:47 AMInstagram
Fuckin a Elise. If you're gonna bang gio, you're not allowed to bite my nipple Friday, May 18, 2012 11:06:00 PMTwitter for Android
My coworker wore this to work. What a baller. http://t.co/L4DET7r mad fuckin swag. Stud central station. Friday, May 18, 2012 9:38:04 PMTwitter for Android
Useless motherfuckers Friday, May 18, 2012 9:14:45 PMTwitter for Android
I'd like to know how it is that some people have so much of their shit together and some people are fucking disasters. What differentiates? Friday, May 18, 2012 2:57:54 AMTwitter Web Client
Ah mother fucker. My twitter is ridiculous again Friday, May 18, 2012 1:23:48 AMTwitter for Android
@VtotheFlo motherfuckin right I hate slow bullshit.
In reply to @VtotheFlo's tweet
Thursday, May 17, 2012 11:38:45 PMTwitter for Android
Why do all homeless motherfuckers smell the same degree of nasty? Thursday, May 17, 2012 11:36:36 PMTwitter for Android
If ya didn't know you're bein' scammed, you're too fuckin' dumb to keep this job. If ya did know, you were in on it. Either way, you're out! Wednesday, May 16, 2012 5:39:38 PMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: Dave Grohl Is a Motherfuckin BOSS http://bit.ly/KviOQE Wednesday, May 16, 2012 2:06:04 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
@VtotheFlo You're at a bar alone and watching the Mets. The fucks wrong with you? Why would you ever watch the Mets?
In reply to @VtotheFlo's tweet
Tuesday, May 15, 2012 7:47:28 PMTwitter for Android
This dumb motherfucker... Monday, May 14, 2012 12:24:40 PMTwitter Web Client
Before, I tweeted "hot. Can I get in on that?" No fuckin idea what I was talking about. Hhhhhh Friday, May 11, 2012 1:24:37 AMTwitter for Android
Jesus. Still waiting at mother fuckin mcdonalds. Friday, May 11, 2012 1:02:27 AMTwitter for Android
Fuck this guy. Friday, May 11, 2012 12:59:06 AMTwitter for Android
Instead of flirting with players, can you make me a mother fuckin snack wrap. Jesus christ. Fuckin guy is slower than shit Friday, May 11, 2012 12:57:52 AMTwitter for Android
Ah jesus fuckin christ Dave Robertson. I'm no longer gay for you. This is why we need Mo in the 9th. Go back to the 8th Wednesday, May 09, 2012 10:17:56 PMTwitter Web Client
Bunch of dumb motherfuckers here at the MTA. Whose asinine idea was it to unload a full train and load two others on adjacent tracks? Wednesday, May 09, 2012 6:55:10 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin muggy, rainy nasty and 7 million degrees. Sweating balls. This is disgusting. Crank the AC in this bitch Wednesday, May 09, 2012 8:24:59 AMTwitter for Android
That's one angry looking mother fucker on this train Wednesday, May 09, 2012 1:12:37 AMTwitter for Android
IT guy just downgraded my video card from a Radeon HD 4550 to a Radeon HD 2400 XT. The FUCK man? Monday, May 07, 2012 4:36:53 PMTwitter Web Client
Fioretti was like "fuck you and your tweet off" touche. Mad respect Saturday, May 05, 2012 11:17:37 PMTwitter for Android
"Yo you gotta kill that belly on you motherfucker" Saturday, May 05, 2012 11:09:31 PMTwitter for Android
@Novellabella stop being a mother fuckin pansy. If a married dude is staring at your tits then tell the dude ur awesome fuck off and enjoy
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Friday, May 04, 2012 10:13:58 PMTwitter for Android
Little bit sloppy on the fuckin flip cup... I need to get my shit together, Friday, May 04, 2012 6:29:07 PMTwitter Web Client
*choking. Fuckin grammar failure and a half tonight. Jesus Thursday, May 03, 2012 12:40:02 AMTwitter Web Client
RT @portfolioso unlike other jokers I hear about, whiskey dick does not happen to me bc I'm a mother fuckin boss Thursday, May 03, 2012 12:11:16 AMTwitter for Android
@ShavingFoams unlike other jokers I hear about, whiskey dick does not happen to me bc I'm a mother fuckin boss.
In reply to @ShavingFoams's tweet
Thursday, May 03, 2012 12:05:53 AMTwitter for Android
Let him take his shot? I wasn't anywhere near you, asshole. Fuck is this, professional pool? Your a a bar you dick. Wednesday, May 02, 2012 8:56:50 PMTwitter for Android
I'm worse than a fuckin professor at work. Might as well post public office hours, because motherfuckers are lined up to get shit from me. Tuesday, May 01, 2012 9:15:20 PMTwitter Web Client
If I get another fuckin programmer telling me that their shit isn't building, I'm going to shake a bitch. I know its busted. Monday, April 30, 2012 7:59:51 AMTwitter for Android
Pretty sure there are two cats fucking outside the window. It sounds ridiculous Sunday, April 29, 2012 7:58:01 PMTwitter Web Client
"You know you're a lying, lowlife motherfucking gambling degenerate prick. You know that's what you are?" Sunday, April 29, 2012 6:06:24 PMTwitter Web Client
You shit-kicking, stinky horse-manure smelling motherfucker you! Go back there and apologize now! Sunday, April 29, 2012 5:54:13 PMTwitter Web Client
"Just anudda fat fuck walkin' out of a casino with a suitcase" Sunday, April 29, 2012 5:08:44 PMTwitter Web Client
The FUCK did google do to their search results. Look like shit. Awful UI designers there Saturday, April 28, 2012 2:30:11 AMTwitter Web Client
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE KEG IS KICKED. FUCK Friday, April 27, 2012 5:14:16 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuck all you hos. When there's a will, there's a way. Got that shit built and shipped off to India for testing. Friday, April 27, 2012 2:52:29 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm going to war with our mother fucking build system. Friday, April 27, 2012 2:44:26 AMTwitter Web Client
This is all bullshit. I just want to go to the mother fuckin bar but I have to go to a meetup in the middle of nowhere, manhattan Thursday, April 26, 2012 6:22:35 PMTwitter Web Client
Motherfuckers need to drop dead... not on the subway. Drop dead somewhere the fuck else so you don't delay thousands of people. Thursday, April 26, 2012 9:32:20 AMTwitter Web Client
The get the fuck off my team: Phil Hughes edition... fuckin guys going to shit quicker than Joba. Thursday, April 26, 2012 12:50:49 AMTwitter for Android
Oh great. These fuckin occupy wall St hippies made it to Union Square Wednesday, April 25, 2012 2:52:44 PMTwitter for Android
I know the fuckin guy 35 years, I'm gonna whack him for you? Wednesday, April 25, 2012 12:34:05 AMTwitter for Android
Would be nice if the cocksucker next to me didn't have the fuckin plague. Tuesday, April 24, 2012 8:11:17 AMTwitter for Android
@RockNationRadio is out drinking me right now. The fuck... Saturday, April 21, 2012 5:47:23 PMTwitter for Android
Lennon on Holograms: "If you ever have Justin Bieber do this thing with the Beatles, I'd fuckin kill myself" Friday, April 20, 2012 6:33:01 PMTwitter Web Client
Yup.. Just searched our error log for "nudes" (to look for a spambot attack, you sick fucks) Wednesday, April 18, 2012 5:42:34 PMTwitter Web Client
Give this fucking kid an ambien Tuesday, April 17, 2012 7:01:20 PMTwitter for Android
See this is why I can't have kids. I'd be like. "Speak English ya little mother fucker. Cut this babble shit out you're like 4" Tuesday, April 17, 2012 6:59:44 PMTwitter for Android
The mother fuckin purple ass. Holy shit. Its prime Friday, April 13, 2012 11:58:11 PMTwitter for Android
"Them playas is fuckin'" Friday, April 13, 2012 10:37:55 PMTwitter for Android
"You're not a tax doin' fuckin person." -Derick Friday, April 13, 2012 9:29:24 PMTwitter for Android
There are some fucking whackjobs on this train. Real winners. Singing out loud, making ridic comments. Jeez Wednesday, April 11, 2012 10:38:45 PMTwitter for Android
Mama's boys of the Bronx is fuckin hysterical Tuesday, April 10, 2012 11:08:07 PMTwitter for Android
100% disagree with our VP of Marketing for throwing Android under the bus. He's like... Nah we have to wait for iPhone. Fuck that. tease it Tuesday, April 10, 2012 10:45:24 PMTwitter Web Client
Once again , fuck the MTA in the ass. Not only is this a short ass train to begin with, but they have 4 cars closed off for no reason. Saturday, April 07, 2012 12:54:11 AMTwitter for Android
Oh mikey. Dude will never steer me wrong. Love that bro. I need a permanent gay to help me out with the fuckin women. Friday, April 06, 2012 8:47:41 PMTwitter for Android
@Novellabella fuckin joker
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Friday, April 06, 2012 8:40:13 PMTwitter for Android
Christina is my favorite lesbian of all time. Id marry her every time in a game of marry fuck kill every day of the week and twice on sunday Friday, April 06, 2012 7:57:03 PMTwitter for Android
fuck the yes network for not hiring jenny dell Friday, April 06, 2012 6:33:35 PMTwitter for Android
Ah Jesus fucking Christ, CC Friday, April 06, 2012 3:37:38 PMTwitter Web Client
Seriously Firefox? 1.2 gigs of RAM. You fucking piece of shit browser. You're worse than IE. http://t.co/Za1V3Eo Friday, April 06, 2012 2:45:41 PMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: Pretty Sure The Fucking 4 and 5 Trains Cut 12 Years off My Life http://bit.ly/HZsort Thursday, April 05, 2012 4:51:13 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
OK there's food. They can un- go fuck themselves Thursday, April 05, 2012 12:25:57 PMTwitter Web Client
If they don't feed us at this company meeting all of the executives can go fuck themselves Thursday, April 05, 2012 12:01:01 PMTwitter Web Client
Oh I'm going to lose it on these motherfuckers right now. Thursday, April 05, 2012 9:38:13 AMTwitter Web Client
Whoever keeps shitting their pants on this train... Fucking stop it. Wednesday, April 04, 2012 6:58:11 PMTwitter for Android
Fucking sales people sending Daniel dramatic emails about how our system is busted.He was up my ass all day today anyway. I don't need this Wednesday, April 04, 2012 6:07:54 PMTwitter Web Client
That hot girl in your class who gets A’s on everything and makes you feel like you are the biggest fucking idiot in the world. Wednesday, April 04, 2012 3:10:09 AMTwitter Web Client
Internet's slower than shit right now. What the fuck, Verizon Wednesday, April 04, 2012 12:17:34 AMTwitter Web Client
RT @DEVOPS_BORAT: In devops we are never assign blame, we are just try of find out how the fuck it happen. Monday, April 02, 2012 11:36:49 PMTwitter for Android
Marry fuck kill with Lennon and Niraj is fuckin classic Friday, March 30, 2012 9:18:14 PMTwitter for Android
not in the greatest mood, probs because i stopped not giving a fuck. if i could stop giving a fuck, it would be all good, but i do and meh Wednesday, March 28, 2012 9:23:14 PMTwitter Web Client
Temple Run crashes like a motherfucker on the galaxy nexus. tsk tsk tsk. this le sucks Tuesday, March 27, 2012 7:28:37 PMTwitter Web Client
FUCK! FUCK FUCK FUCK. ROLL BACK 13874 Tuesday, March 27, 2012 12:34:48 PMTwitter Web Client
Christina: "Don't fuck with me, Argentina!" Monday, March 26, 2012 10:14:22 AMTwitter Web Client
No wonder haymitch is a mother fuckin alcoholic Sunday, March 25, 2012 12:49:40 AMTwitter for Android
These two VPs they just hired are fucking outside of their minds and cray to the max Wednesday, March 21, 2012 10:19:57 PMTwitter Web Client
They've got some fuckin nerve putting unskippable video ads in Draw Something. Ya think my battery wants to deal with this shit? Tuesday, March 20, 2012 10:19:55 PMTwitter Web Client
god damn it @MalJNew stop getting lipstick on my boss... guy is a classy gentlemen. Fuckin homewrecker... doesn't even cheat. Bunch of bs Friday, March 16, 2012 11:05:14 PMTwitter for Android
Elise is fucking wild. I'm into this. I'm gonna dance on the bar with her later.... Friday, March 16, 2012 9:07:33 PMTwitter for Android
I still can't believe HBO cancelled Luck... Bunch of fuckup trainers on the set must have been why those horses were injured Thursday, March 15, 2012 10:34:54 AMTwitter Web Client
Alexey! Stop bullshitting with Casey and fix my fucking shit Thursday, March 15, 2012 9:47:17 AMTwitter Web Client
It would be nice if Verizon released the 4.0.4 bugfix for the Galaxy Nexus on the grounds that I NEVER FUCKING HAVE INTERNET ON MY PHONE Monday, March 12, 2012 9:31:18 PMTwitter Web Client
I love finding money EVERYWHERE when I get home from the bar. It's like: Fuck I spent a lot, then I find money all over the place and its ok Sunday, March 11, 2012 3:52:43 PMTwitter Web Client
Actually fuck that... I can get her myself. Or... I'm so awesome she'll just come to me. Saturday, March 10, 2012 6:35:40 PMTwitter for Android
is HBO fuckin retarded? Who gives a fuck about the McCain/Palin election?. No one wants to watch this shit. http://t.co/UPmassp Wednesday, March 07, 2012 11:49:52 PMTwitter for Android
I'd kill to go upstate with the mover right now. When that guy goes, I'm gonna be a fucking mess and three quarters. Wednesday, March 07, 2012 11:02:02 PMTwitter for Android
I just can't get over how fucking awesome I am Wednesday, March 07, 2012 2:01:39 AMTwitter Web Client
WHAT THE FUCK? Google rebranded the android market and renamed it Google Play? And Goog Music was combined with it? Cray Cray Tuesday, March 06, 2012 9:32:42 PMTwitter Web Client
Alexey! Can you let me write the fucking batch file? Jeeeez. I can do it quicker. Tuesday, March 06, 2012 9:31:14 AMTwitter for Android
Fucking A, Verizon. Release the galaxy nexus update. I never have internet you shits Tuesday, March 06, 2012 8:11:28 AMTwitter for Android
Fuck, I need to lay off the twitter API. I'm almost rate limited. Sunday, March 04, 2012 5:33:45 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck. It failed again. I think the data structure was wrong in the database. If this doesn't work, I'm calling it a night Sunday, March 04, 2012 2:51:57 AMTwitter Web Client
Can't do a fuckin thing anymore... there is no freedom. Saturday, March 03, 2012 12:39:08 AMTwitter for Android
Wait a sec... fucking Obama is in the city? Fuck off. I want to go to the bar and the cops have the shit barricaded off Thursday, March 01, 2012 8:03:48 PMTwitter for Android
I'm testing these apostrophe's stupid asses. "Also, this is in quotes" Fucking character encoding, breaking my scripts. ' ' " " Monday, February 27, 2012 3:57:40 AMTwitter Web Client
Fucking fail. I tried to send @Colithika a heart, but I sent greater than 3 instead Monday, February 27, 2012 2:10:59 AMTwitter Web Client
Bunch of bullshit! A fucking french black and white silent film is still relevant in 2012? Never even heard of it. Sunday, February 26, 2012 11:37:29 PMTwitter for Android
Netbook screen resolution is absolutely disgusting. 1024x600. Can't fit a fuckin thing on this screen Sunday, February 26, 2012 9:47:27 PMTwitter Web Client
It's like 3AM. No one is on the road. Shut the fucking sirens off. Lights would be enough. Asses. Saturday, February 25, 2012 2:53:53 AMTwitter Web Client
Princess kitty booboo fuck Friday, February 24, 2012 11:42:08 AMTwitter Web Client
@ky9 fuck joba. That dude sucks. Wasted his career. Prime candidate for the New York Mets
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Thursday, February 23, 2012 8:35:14 PMTwitter for Android
Wanna lower the heat on this fucking train? Jesus Christ. Tuesday, February 21, 2012 6:58:22 PMTwitter for Android
I don't have time to interview this motherfucker Tuesday, February 21, 2012 2:27:52 PMTwitter Web Client
godaddy fuckin sucks balls. You need a PhD to switch from nameservers to managing your own zone file Tuesday, February 21, 2012 1:43:47 AMTwitter Web Client
Bluetooth is a fucking pain in the ass! Monday, February 20, 2012 7:48:32 PMTwitter Web Client
Shit. I hope she doesn't follow me on twitter and can see my tweets. I mean if she can, fuck it but it would be 10% more embarrassing. Saturday, February 18, 2012 6:22:11 PMTwitter for Android
Lennon: take that fucking checkered bullshit shirt off and show us your goods. Saturday, February 18, 2012 6:19:12 PMTwitter for Android
@nyJULZmd nah fuck that. That's a pussy assed phone. The galaxy nexus is better
In reply to @nyJULZmd's tweet
Saturday, February 18, 2012 3:24:29 PMTwitter for Android
iPhone- 6. Galaxy Nexus- 2. Me and allison are killing it. Fuck apple. Saturday, February 18, 2012 3:06:02 PMTwitter for Android
That sly motherfucker. GET. IT. BUDDY. And that just happened. bada bada bada Wednesday, February 15, 2012 12:47:18 AMTwitter Web Client
Would be nice if the fucking 5 train didn't go fucking 3 mph and stop 8 times between stations making me miss my train. Tuesday, February 14, 2012 6:46:26 PMTwitter for Android
Finally blocked that stupid bitch who kept Twitter spamming my feed with Sentsy shit. Who gives a fuck. Not I Tuesday, February 14, 2012 12:07:25 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm convinced this VP is on crack. Also, she can go fuck herself for ignoring me and not learning my wisdom. Because I know more than her Tuesday, February 14, 2012 8:57:51 AMTwitter Web Client
Dear Verizon. Update the software on the Galaxy Nexus on the grounds that its too fucking buggy. Love, Joe. Tuesday, February 14, 2012 8:09:03 AMTwitter for Android
Yo this waitress remembered like 8 peoples orders without writing any of it down. Fuckin boss. Mad tips. Sunday, February 12, 2012 2:04:55 AMTwitter for Android
Holy shit. We got so much snow I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do. NYC crippled for weeks! This shit's not going to melt until June. Saturday, February 11, 2012 2:09:23 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuck. Just realized I only checked into 5 of the 9 bars we went at last week's barhop... Must not have been that with it... Saturday, February 11, 2012 12:13:34 AMTwitter Web Client
Fucking A, Google... Why would you ever remove the + icon on the new tab button in Chrome 17 Thursday, February 09, 2012 10:22:43 AMTwitter Web Client
Nice to see that that I picked the fucking tuberculosis train car. All you motherfuckers: stop coughing ya sickly fucks. Wednesday, February 08, 2012 8:09:38 AMTwitter for Android
Jesus Fucking Christ: http://t.co/KNzSr51 We're fucked. Tuesday, February 07, 2012 2:03:51 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm all for the Giants parade and shit but the fact that my mother fucking office moved a block away from it is going to make it impossible Tuesday, February 07, 2012 7:32:03 AMTwitter for Android
That was by far the shittiest fucking commute ever, and if it's like this every day, I'm going to fucking kill myself. Thx for moving, guys. Monday, February 06, 2012 7:56:32 PMTwitter Web Client
Fuck Friday, February 03, 2012 7:06:03 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin a. I owe kelsey a drink now Friday, February 03, 2012 5:30:53 PMTwitter for Android
I called the CEO out in the fuckin rules. He owes me a drank Friday, February 03, 2012 4:37:39 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck you guys and your drinking game rules. I owe like 4 people drinks Friday, February 03, 2012 3:07:10 PMTwitter for Android
Ah this is gonna be a fuckin shitshow.... Friday, February 03, 2012 2:57:05 PMTwitter for Android
@VtotheFlo stop retweeting Prep/Fairfield Girl Problems. No one gives a fuck and its clogging NY stream with utter bullshit. Tuesday, January 31, 2012 8:55:55 AMTwitter for Android
If I have to look at this fucking Dalvik debugger for 5 more minutes, I'm going to freak. Bluetooth + Android = sucks Tuesday, January 31, 2012 2:36:54 AMTwitter Web Client
Such a fucking idiot. Just spent like 20 minutes debugging a script that wasn't copying a file only to realize the path was incorrect. FAIL Monday, January 30, 2012 2:10:40 AMTwitter Web Client
RT @yelling_bird: TRIED TO FUCK RICK SANTORUM BUT HE HAS NEITHER GENITALS NOR ANUS, IT'S LIKE A GODDAMNED KEN DOLL DOWN THERE Sunday, January 29, 2012 2:25:46 AMTwitter for Android
What's this bullshit that it's 60 degrees and raining in NY in the middle of January. Fuck that noise. I want cold & snow. This winter sux Friday, January 27, 2012 1:46:50 PMTwitter Web Client
Do you really have to stand aimlessly at my desk and stare out into space? Go the fuck away if you're not being useful. Friday, January 27, 2012 11:40:16 AMTwitter Web Client
Get the fuck out of my way. I need to get to the bar. Thursday, January 26, 2012 4:13:33 PMTwitter for Android
@VtotheFlo You worry too much. That's not awk. It's awesome. I would have pretended to be the blind date just to fuck with him.
In reply to @VtotheFlo's tweet
Monday, January 23, 2012 8:29:56 PMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: Get Ready to Go to War With Iran, Mother Fuckers! http://bit.ly/x124fJ Monday, January 23, 2012 11:14:13 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
I'm all for the Giants, but this is the stupidest fucking Foursquare checkin ever. If you checked in, you're a moron: https://t.co/hUcITry Monday, January 23, 2012 3:43:46 AMTwitter Web Client
FUCK YEAH: http://t.co/og6BopS Thursday, January 19, 2012 9:21:36 PMTwitter Web Client
Also it would be nice if this fucking train conductor opened the doors and didn't make me stand outside for 3 minutes in 13 degree weather Monday, January 16, 2012 8:52:18 AMTwitter for Android
Omar, I really don't give a fuck about your cats. You can shut up now... Sunday, January 15, 2012 1:14:31 PMTwitter for Android
New blog post: Welp, Looks Like My Brain is Fucked http://bit.ly/wP7bwL Saturday, January 14, 2012 3:02:50 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
"Weed makes me very introspective. And i always want to fuck people" hhhhhhh Saturday, January 14, 2012 12:13:26 AMTwitter for Android
Wait. Who the fuck paid for the last bar Friday, January 13, 2012 10:03:28 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck man. There's not enough TIME in the day... Thursday, January 12, 2012 10:29:11 PMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: If Someone Posts This Fucking Picture One More Time, I Swear... http://bit.ly/AhEGRT Wednesday, January 11, 2012 8:51:06 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
To whomever is making hot pockets in this office: Fuck you and bring me one because now I'm hungry Wednesday, January 11, 2012 3:44:39 PMTwitter Web Client
Ah for fucks sake... words with friends letters are: U E I U E I U... the fuck am I supposed to do with that shit Tuesday, January 10, 2012 1:31:25 AMTwitter for Android
Mob wives... thus show is a fuckin gem! Monday, January 09, 2012 11:52:27 PMTwitter for Android
My mom is forcing me to watch video of a baby I don't know eating solid food. Look at all the fucks I don't give Saturday, January 07, 2012 11:13:23 AMTwitter for Android
It would be nice if this galaxy fuckin bug ridden nexus picked up 3G OR 4G for fuckin once... takes like 20 minutes to connect Wednesday, January 04, 2012 7:56:35 PMTwitter for Android
Where the fuck is Raul? I want my football pool money Wednesday, January 04, 2012 12:41:03 PMTwitter Web Client
Fucking Facebook isn't working right. I can't get pictures of me tagged to show up right. Assholes Wednesday, January 04, 2012 2:53:40 AMTwitter Web Client
@SonicBlur23 fuckin mess
In reply to @SonicBlur23's tweet
Tuesday, January 03, 2012 3:04:09 AMTwitter for Android
Ah fuck. Gotta hit the gym Tuesday, January 03, 2012 2:10:22 AMTwitter for Android
The amount of beer you're drinking you can spit out on people and they won't even get fuckin get wet. Pussy Tuesday, January 03, 2012 1:58:26 AMTwitter for Android
Dan's dad: "they don't want you to eat those fuckin crackers. After a while you'll just say fuck it" Tuesday, January 03, 2012 1:11:13 AMTwitter for Android
@Colithika 's parents are fuckin Gs. My future wife's parents need to be that cool. Or maybe I'll just marry Dan. We got the bromance going. Monday, January 02, 2012 11:55:38 PMTwitter for Android
@michellemm22 what am I supposed to do about it. @mirrorfairfield staff are all a bunch of fuck ups
In reply to @michellemm22's tweet
Monday, January 02, 2012 9:10:11 PMTwitter for Android
Seriously. If the speed limit is 75, don't fucking drive in the left lane if you are going any less than 80 Monday, January 02, 2012 2:10:39 PMTwitter for Android
First you give me a raise, then you blow me, then I'll fuck your wife. Sunday, January 01, 2012 3:26:55 AMTwitter for Android
Might as well put my money in a fuckin paper shreader Saturday, December 31, 2011 9:12:16 PMTwitter for Android
Dan's dad: "Ah you gotta be fuckin kiddin me... You guys are drinking alcohol and eating pudding?" Thursday, December 29, 2011 11:10:49 PMTwitter for Android
No ma, I'm going to a fucking desert. I don't need an umbrella or poncho. hhhh Wednesday, December 28, 2011 5:40:41 AMTwitter Web Client
New blog post: Dumbfuck IT Guy Can't Keep His Shit Secure http://bit.ly/rqhjNu Monday, December 26, 2011 11:23:12 AMPortfolioso.com Blog
Fucking moron IT consultant that my company uses got his email hacked and is now spamming us with virus email. Guy doesn't know jack. Fired! Monday, December 26, 2011 2:08:46 AMTwitter Web Client
Fucking hipsters lol. RT @__JLu hahahahaha http://t.co/HPesOcG Saturday, December 24, 2011 12:01:42 PMTwitter for Android
@SonicBlur23 you getting a lotto ticket you degenerate fuck? Saturday, December 24, 2011 2:22:42 AMTwitter for Android
New blog post: Is Rovio Fucking Serious With Today's Angry Birds Level? http://bit.ly/tX9rPY Friday, December 23, 2011 8:17:05 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
Fuck off to whoever ordered Chinese in this office. Now give me some Friday, December 23, 2011 2:30:51 PMTwitter Web Client
Barstool: "Offering the chance to buy Mets playoff tickets is like offering me the chance to buy a unicorn. They don't even fucking exist." Thursday, December 22, 2011 12:02:51 AMTwitter for Android
Why's it so fucking hot outside? Wednesday, December 21, 2011 10:03:03 PMTwitter for Android
It's probably a good idea Kim Hong Il died on his own before this dumbfuck country decided to invade North Korea for no reason. Sunday, December 18, 2011 11:27:13 PMTwitter for Android
This 9/11/11 Pearl Jam Concert is fucking boss. Wish I was there. Thanks Android and Google Music for getting me that fo free Friday, December 16, 2011 2:16:03 AMTwitter Web Client
These Republican candidates are all fuck ups. Except for the guy Fox News is ignoring.... #thiscountrysucksballs Thursday, December 15, 2011 10:43:48 PMTwitter for Android
It's the second coming of Christ! I finally get my Galaxy Nexus tomorrow. Fuckin A that was a painful wait. Wednesday, December 14, 2011 6:35:12 PMTwitter Web Client
Mother. Fucker. When did CopSSH go from being free to fucking paid... How am I supposed to tunnel now - I lost the installer. Tuesday, December 13, 2011 1:18:41 AMTwitter Web Client
That was fucking brilliant!!! Ho.Ly.Shit. Sunday, December 11, 2011 11:54:32 PMTwitter Web Client
fuck. my mom knows im hammered. lolz. Saturday, December 10, 2011 2:52:26 AMtxt
this young cop/slut convo is fucking hysterical.... Saturday, December 10, 2011 2:26:33 AMtxt
what bullshit wendys is closed at this early hr. fuck man. 45th st wendys wouldnt have closed. f man Saturday, December 10, 2011 1:17:59 AMtxt
"Have a good night you Michael Sera looking looking mother fucker" Friday, December 09, 2011 11:13:05 PMtxt
fuck tech support bitches http://t.co/4ibW64I Friday, December 09, 2011 10:48:34 PMTwitter MMS
I am watching Winnie the Pooh and Christmas Too right now. This is my jam. Fuck off if you're judging. It's the shit Thursday, December 08, 2011 8:31:29 PMTwitter for Android
New blog post: A BIG FUCK YOU http://t.co/k5BeWN4 Thursday, December 08, 2011 8:07:57 PMPortfolioso.com Blog
Does it ever stop FUCKING raining over in this bitch? Wednesday, December 07, 2011 9:19:46 PMTwitter Web Client
you've gotta be fucking kidding me Wednesday, December 07, 2011 8:10:02 PMTwitter Web Client
fuck these motherfuckers: http://news.cnet.com/8301-1035_3-57338812-94/verizon-delays-the-launch-of-the-galaxy-nexus/ Wednesday, December 07, 2011 8:06:43 PMTwitter Web Client
Well that was scary as fuck. I pretty much broke 5 company websites because I fucked with one .htaccess file and had no clue. Reverted! Tuesday, December 06, 2011 1:26:48 AMTwitter Web Client
fucking nooblet driving this train cant even align himself with the station properly. had to back up like 4 times Monday, December 05, 2011 7:48:53 PMtxt
i look like a fucking jackoff on this train with this piece of shit dumb phone. 0 street cred Monday, December 05, 2011 7:30:38 PMtxt
mother fucker. i messed up again. checking in to twitter from a dumbphone sucks balls Saturday, December 03, 2011 9:25:21 PMtxt
once again... fuck not having a smartphone. cant play angry birds on the train bc it needs an internet connection Friday, December 02, 2011 11:48:28 PMtxt
The Galaxy Nexus visited the FCC for Approval on AT&T. At this fucking rate, it will never come out on Verizon. Those fuckers. Friday, December 02, 2011 6:17:48 PMTwitter Web Client
move to the right if youre going to walk slow, fuckers. i need to get by and am more important than you Thursday, December 01, 2011 8:02:54 PMtxt
the second i go to take a nap, the fucker next to me decides to get out. now i'm awake. i need my own driver. this 99% shit sucks Thursday, December 01, 2011 7:55:17 PMtxt
Fucking Biebs ruining the tree lighting.... Wednesday, November 30, 2011 8:39:55 PMTwitter Web Client
RT @DEVOPS_BORAT: You can able tell junior devops by they are not protect themselve when they are fuck with database. Wednesday, November 30, 2011 1:46:16 PMTwitter Web Client
Pretty sure saving Word and Excel docs to my network drive at work through my VPN is slower than saving to a fuckin floppy disk Wednesday, November 30, 2011 1:23:50 AMTwitter Web Client
Obviously the fucking apple fanboys WOULD say the Galaxy nexus is a piece of shit. Fuck those people: http://t.co/FcEfd4k Monday, November 28, 2011 5:28:04 PMTwitter Web Client
I'm going to have to blame the fact that I yacked all over the place on 3AM Taco Bell... Not alcohol.... #i'magrossfucker Sunday, November 27, 2011 6:42:07 AMTwitter Web Client
feel like fuckin shit right now...... Sunday, November 27, 2011 3:43:31 AMtxt
So the Galaxy Nexus might only be $200? I don't give a fuck if it's $300. I need one and I needed it yesterday! Saturday, November 26, 2011 2:46:10 AMTwitter Web Client
Christ once said "let he who is without sin cast the first stone..." And then he stoned a mother fucker to death. Saturday, November 26, 2011 2:05:49 AMTwitter Web Client
I'm a fucking dumbass. Just spent 15 minutes trying to figure out why I couldn't connect to my cloud server and it was PeerBlock. #fail Tuesday, November 22, 2011 10:24:23 PMTwitter Web Client
Stop begging, fuckers. The more people beg me for something the less I comply. (Unless it's some hot girl. Then she can have me. But shh) Tuesday, November 22, 2011 5:28:51 PMTwitter Web Client
These fuckers should release this soon: http://t.co/p90u7vX Tuesday, November 22, 2011 12:55:19 PMTwitter Web Client
You fucking Chiefs. I need you to ruin the spread so I can win money. Obviously, you're going to lose, but keep it close for fuck's sake. Monday, November 21, 2011 10:06:12 PMTwitter Web Client
You fucking Chiefs. I need your to ruin the spread so I can win money. Obviously, your going to lose, but keep it close for fuck's sake Monday, November 21, 2011 10:05:36 PMDELETED
This guy's such a fucking badass that we need to elect him immediately: http://t.co/Msp6UHp Monday, November 21, 2011 9:20:57 PMTwitter Web Client
Galaxy Nexus is delayed until December now? Fuck my life. Saturday, November 19, 2011 3:04:05 PMTwitter Web Client

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